Mini Post – Missing Memories, Amnesia?

Hey everyone!

I decided to start doing some random posts that I will label as Mini Posts. This is mostly me just venting for the sake of writing. Don’t read if you don’t want to hear me vent, haha. For those who do read it, thanks!

Well, here goes…..

Life is full of unknown variables. I have experienced so many events throughout my life that I would have never predicted. It’s unreal. Every year that passes is another year lost. I try to look back and everything is just a blur. I always tend to hear, “Oh, you’re still young. You have time,” yet everyone, from around the world, always pressures me to settle down. What happened to all that you just mentioned? Oh, the irony.

Well, I really want to make this post just for the sake of writing something! I’m currently in the process of helping my friends create a video for our amazing friends, Kris and Christine. If you didn’t know, they’re getting married this year!!! I’m so excited for them, but I’m super upset I won’t be able to attend their wedding. Of all weddings to miss, I am missing the wedding of my closest friends. I’ll definitely have to make it up to them when I am back in the states. I’m experiencing some of our past memories together as I look through various content to create this video. I never knew how much I would sacrifice to pursue my own dreams. I feel selfish for doing so, but I know everyone understands.

I’ve already missed one wedding that I really wanted to attend. Now here comes another. I know I posted before about missing my nephew’s first years, but now I am realizing I am missing out on moments with my friends. These are definitely the biggest sacrifices I made joining the Peace Corps. I know all of my fellow Volunteers can truly understand.

I was talking to my friend, Terry, about my experiences and if I regret joining. I can never say I regret chasing my dreams. I will never look back and say I made the wrong decision becoming a Peace Corps Volunteer. There are some disappointing moments, but I couldn’t be more satisfied with myself. I certainly do regret missing out on creating memories with my friends back home. I believe the real reason I was able to make the decision I did was because of them. My friends never once told me not to go. They never held me back. It was then I knew I would always have a home to come back to. It pains me not to be there for some of their biggest moments, but I know they will always be there when I return.

There’s a renowned Latin phrase, Carpe Diem, that has a significant meaning to me now. For those who don’t know, it means ‘seize the moment’. Maybe being selfish isn’t such a bad thing. The American culture is all about accomplishing one’s dreams and defining one’s own success. I would like to believe I am doing just that. I hope the world can follow through and show me and my generation that all our dreams are possible. The world is full of endless possibilities. Let’s hope through those endless possibilities that I am able to accomplish my dream. I know I posted a little of that on Facebook, but I’ll just copy here for those who weren’t able to see it.

Martin Luther King Jr. was an iconic figure in American history. He was a leader of his time and his presence is still felt today. Years after his death, we still struggle to see as he did. Mr. King wanted a world where everyone would be equal regardless of their race. Although one’s race is not as recognized as it used to be but rather one’s sexual orientation and religion. Human beings are still being discriminated against as they were during Martin Luther King Jr’s time. It’s an absolute disgrace. Human beings are human beings no matter where they reside on this planet. We live in a society where we differentiate our own kind just by the borders that surround us. I hope that we can all accept one another as fellow human beings. Country names are only references to a location, not a reason to think differently of others. We are all the same. Everyone around the world has emotions of love and hate, worries of supporting their friends and family, and the longing for happiness. I realize a universal peace may be impossible to achieve, but I hope to see an overwhelming presence of peace around the world. That is my dream. That is my vision.

Thank you, Martin Luther King Jr. for your dream, vision, and determination.

Do you think I am realistic? I would assume would say no, but some of us have to believe. Some may even call me an idealist. I wouldn’t be against that, honestly. Let’s hope I don’t lose my way! It’ll be a difficult journey. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I hope my friends and family will continue to support me as they do.

Until the next mini post!! BYE!

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4 thoughts on “Mini Post – Missing Memories, Amnesia?”

  1. Your “Mini Post” turned out to be not so mini at all. You must have a lot on your mind when wrote that. It’s quite normal. In fact we are glad you feel homesick and missing your close friends. For a while we were kind of worry when you said you are not coming home. We are glad you enjoy what you are doing, But here is your home and all your family and close friends are still here. We all miss you also.

    Being thousands of miles away is not easy, especially when this is your first time. Now that you have been there for over 6 months, it’s kind of expected that you are wondering whether you are doing the right thing and made the right choice. When you spent the first 25 years of your life here and all of a sudden lifted your roots and moved to a very distant place which you didn’t have much of a knowledge, in terms of culture and their ways of living. I knew it would be a cultural shock to you in the beginning. But you adjusted well. Now you know more than any of us. It’s an experience you will never forget.

    The wedding announcement triggered a lot of fun memories and at the same time a feeling of sadness and homesick. I think it will happen to everybody. It happened to me when my beloved dog passed away. My mom hid the news from me for a while and then I found out later, I was depressed for a couple of days and didn’t want to go to school or any place. Again I thought about what I came here for. I had to lift myself up and keep going.

    Believe me you are doing the right thing. Not a whole lot of people would sacrifice a few years of their lives to help others. The work you are doing is meaningful. Without PC and volunteers like yourself most of the third world countries would have a very difficult time moving forward. Education is the key to a country’s progress. Without educated people a third world country would not make any progress and may even go backwards. So the work you are doing is important.

    Looking forward to see the work you are doing.

    Dad

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    1. Thanks Dad!

      Your insight is appreciated and I get to learn a little more about your adventures of coming to the States. I definitely have a lot on my mind at all times. Whether it be about home or the tasks at hand. I am consistently trying to keep my mind busy, but sometimes there’s just not enough to do that.

      It’s been about 7 months now, but we can only really count the last 4, haha. Since that’s when we all departed for our permanent sites. It’s a crazy mental game. All of us here are trying to keep each other motivated. I have a couple other PCVs I talk to via FB messenger that keep me sane and vice-versa. It’s great to have so much support but it still all depends on me.

      I hope to start some projects soon! I am attending Peace Corps’ Project Development Workshop this February and we will have the ability to start writing grants and working on ideas. I hope to start something big. Hopefully. We’ll see.

      I’ll try to make my next mini post smaller, but no promises. It’s not as long as my other blog posts though! No pictures haha. I’ll try to explain the projects here at school too.

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  2. Every year that passes is not another year lost, but another one spent gaining valuable experiences and enriching your life. Yes, there is irony in people thinking you should “settle down” to a more predictable lifestyle, and yet on the other hand, they’re probably envious that you’ve selected the alternative of a lesser travelled path to fulfill your dreams.
    You mentioned “my beloved friends,” but I think you meant to say “my very much loved friends” since “beloved” connotes that they’ve passed on 😦 . Anyway, the closest thing to experiencing Kris and Christine’s wedding is for them to create a video. Make sure the photographer is professional! The one Tiff used did a good job. Christine can attend bridal shows to get referrals. Would you have been the Best Man? Ohh-and the bachelor party you will miss!!
    Thanks for your Facebook entry. We saw it on Liuba’s phone.
    You wrote of Martin Luther King’s dream of universal peace. To your point, have you ever listened to John Lennon’s song “Imagine”? That song references the many points you wrote about . Lennon was also a visionary for world peace, but instead of rallies and marches, he expressed himself thru his music.
    Without question, we will always support you and your dreams and endeavors to make the world a better place!
    Missing you. Love, Mom

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    1. Thanks Mom! I fixed the grammatical error, haha. I would have been one of the groomsmen, but I think Terry beat me to the best man regardless. I’m sure we would’ve split the duties though! They promised me that they are making a life-size cardboard cutout of me and putting it at the wedding 🙂 We’ll see if it happens!

      I do know of John Lennon’s song. It is actually in the G10 curriculum here in the Philippines haha. I do relate to that as well! I do hope I will spread influence around the world, in some way. We shall see what I do in the next 10 years. Thanks for the support 🙂 😀 I appreciate it a lot!

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